Greed's pockets
by Vladimir Jakonhov
Summary: Ling finds a few things in Greed's coat. Rated T for drug use.


Foreword: Thank you to all those who reviewed my first, and here is the second. I don't own FMA.

Ling rested on the building. Roy Mustang was blind now, but he had no doubt he wouldn't be welcomed in the building the Flame Alchemist resided in, and Roy would probably not welcome him, as an outsider and former enemy, so he rested on the building he had protected during Wrath's attack. He had a reason to be there. Lan Fan sunbathed nearby. Ling looked to her. He'd always been fond of her, but a little of Greed's presence led to desiring more from her. He looked in his pockets, wondering what he would find. Ling hadn't worn the coat since Greed controlled him. He rummaged around inside a pocket, his fingers wrapping around a pot, sealed tightly. Ling worked around the lid, before prying it off with a fingernail. He looked at it, confused by the interior. "What the…" He muttered under his breath, curiosity overriding caution. He sniffed it. He blinked a few times, before a feeling of euphoria passed over him. He smiled at the pot. "What is this? I need some more!" He exclaimed loudly. Too loudly, as his bodyguard rushed over to him, knives drawn.

"My lord! What is it you need?" She asked. Ling looked at her, bewildered. "How many of those do you carry?" Lan looked taken aback for a moment. "Normally about… Twenty?" Ling smiled slightly. "Oh yeah… the big blond shirtless guy with the fabulous facial hair gave this to me… what a beautiful man." Ling trailed off, staring dreamily across the cityscape. Lan looked at him, slightly hurt. "Does that mean you pref-" Ling waved her away, sighing a little.

"Take a drink of this." He held out a small bottle of a clear liquid. Lan looked confused, but uncapped it nonetheless, albeit sniffed it first, eyes widening afterwards. "What is this?" Lan asked Ling, coughing slightly. Ling shrugged. Lan blinked, but took a swig. Lan stared at the floor for a moment, swallowing, before taking a few more long drinks. "Good? It's Drachman, or something. Bloody cold place…" Lan looked dizzily around for a moment. Ling took another look in the coat. Finding a pack of cigarettes, he lit one with a spark from a scraping dagger. Lan looked at him, blinking. "My… Ling…" Ling took a long drag from the cigarette. His eyes widened, then watered as he coughed, before the feeling of euphoria passed over him again. "Greed sure knew how to make a boring time a good one, huh? Lan?" The bodyguard looked at him sluggishly. "Do you think Lust and I were sisters?"

"I don't know… it's like asking if Sloth is your brother. I guess you're more complicated than most… I don't know." Ling blinked a few times. "L-Ling?"

"I got to clear my head…" Lan took this as an invitation to grab Ling's head, and bashed it against the floor a few times. "That… helped." Ling smiled at her, as blood dribbled down his face. "Lan… get a plaster or something…" Lan smiled, then staggered off to find a bandage. Ling stood up, then walked to help her. However, Lan had not quite mastered the art of walking while drunk yet, and such fell down the stairs in a painful-sounding series of thuds. "I'm… actually okay. I guess this pillow cushioned my fall or…" Ling smiled, knowing she was okay. However, whatever Greed had, it probably wasn't good for people, as he fell through the stairs, before his fall was softened by a tall, blond man with no shirt. Major Alex Louis Armstrong groaned painfully under him, before jumping back up and throwing Ling into a wall, leaving a large crater in it. "THIS LINE OF TOSSING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FA-"

"If you finish that sentence I swear to Truth I will kill you!" Roy Mustang's voice sounded loudly from a few doors down.

"Roy, you can't kill him. You need him to teach exercise classes to you." Riza's voice, quieter, sounded. Armstrong, not used to unfinished sentences, then sat down and contemplated his life, and the Armstrong family.

Lan, looking like she normally did after a few fights, if she had been against a bear, staggered to the wall, before tossing a slip of paper to the thinking man, and shoving Ling through the paper-thin remainder of solid wall that remained. Inside the room was a bath, filled with a brown substance, another bath filled with red sauce. Ling looked at Lan, before diving headfirst into the red one, Lan into the brown. They thrashed around in the baths for a brief moment, then looked at eachother, clarity in their eyes.

"DID SOMEONE SAY POOL?" Ling shouted, tearing his shirt off. Lan made to take her shirt off, then remembered she wasn't wearing one.

"THIS LINE OF SHIRT TEARING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE AR-" There was silence for a moment, then clicking fingers. "GOD DAMNIT ARMSTRONG!" An almighty burst of flame shot through the corridor. Lan struck a seductive pose, which is understandably difficult while brown liquids are dripping off you, but she managed. Sort of. Ling stuck a hand out, then dragged Lan into his bath, filled of red sauce, creating odd brown patches in the red sauce. Ling licked the brown, chocolaty sauce from her shoulder, before Lan coughed a combination of vomit, phlegm and the two sauces onto Ling's forehead. Ling winked seductively at her, before Lan stabbed him, Ling falling into the bath. Lan pulled out a spoon, and began eating the disgusting mixture in the bath.

Afterword: What the fuck did I just write.


End file.
